Mister Cinecal

Mister Cinecal

Monday, 21 December 2015

The Best and Worst Movie Taglines of All Time, #89

Hey now, let's see if I can commit to doing one of these a week. Maybe I'll even get it finished before I'm dead! For the scientific criteria applied to decide the greatest and least greatest tag lines of all time, check here: http://www.mistercinecal.com/2015/06/the-best-and-worst-movie-taglines-of.html

Oh and I guess here too, I arbitrarily added to my arbitrary categories: http://www.mistercinecal.com/2015/10/the-best-and-worst-movie-taglines-of.html

Best #89

Which: "Your mind is the scene of the crime"
Where: Inception
What: Succinct Summary
When: 2010
Why: I imagine this quick explanation of Inception's high concept was one of the two things Christopher Nolan said in the pitch meeting at Warner Bros. The other being "I'm Christopher Nolan". The merits of Inception as a film could be argued until the cows came home from the weird Limbo Beach Hotel they were got in for dream years, but "your mind is the scene of the crime" is the kind of snappy high-concept explanation that gets the hype train rolling (BWAAAAMP) and gets the fanboys racing to IMDB to rate the movie 10/10 before it comes out.

Worst #89

Which: "The dream is real"
Where: Also Inception
What: ???
When: 2010
Why: Wires get crossed with marketing departments. It happens. It's not that big of a deal, but I mean, the dream is not real. They were very clear about that. That was why it was bad to get stuck in one. They explained it in some detail. Christopher Nolan likes his clarity. The dream was not real. You'd never get planning permission to put a railway line through a street like that, and those folding buildings would never pass code.

The Best Movie Taglines of All Time

100. "Unwittingly, he trained a dolphin to kill the President of the United States", The Day of the Dolphin
99. "They're young, they're in love...and they kill people", Bonnie and Clyde
98. "Raise a kung fu fist to Ogami-AND HE'LL CHOP IT OFF!", Shogun Assassin 2: Lightning Swords of Death
97. "In the year of darkness 2029, the rulers of this planet devised the ultimate plan. They would reshape the Future by changing the past. The plan required something that felt no pity. No pain. No fear. Something unstoppable. They created THE TERMINATOR.", The Terminator
96. "Oh yes. There will be blood.", Saw II
95. "They're tobacco chewin', gut chewin', cannibal kinfolk from Hell!", Redneck Zombies
94. "The first casualty of war is innocence", Platoon
93. "3% body fat. 1% brain activity.", Zoolander
92. "A monster science created but could not destroy!", Frankenstein (1931)
91. "People of Earth, your planet is about to be destroyed...We're terribly sorry for the inconvenience.", TerrorVision
90. "They're here", Poltergeist (1982)
89. "Your mind is the scene of the crime", Inception (2010)

The Worst Movie Taglines of All Time

100. "Not to be confused with King Kong", A*P*E
99. "Great things come in bears", Yogi Bear
98. "All the power on earth can't change destiny", The Godfather Part III
97. "Does my gluteus maximus look big in this?", Gladiatress
96. "Some houses are born bad.", The Haunting (1999)
95. "He puts the teeth in terror", Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III
94. "The system gave him a raw deal. Nobody gives him a raw deal", Raw Deal
93. "Who's your nanny?", Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang
92. "Why are they putting seatbelts in theatres this summer?", Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
91. "On May 6th...see Paris die!", House of Wax (2005)
90. "Life is for living", Charlie St. Cloud (2010)
89. "The dream is real", Inception (2010)

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