Mister Cinecal

Mister Cinecal

Tuesday, 14 July 2015

The Best and Worst Movie Taglines of All Time, #91

That's right, the lists of the best and the worst movie taglines of all time is back. You'll have to excuse the delay, it had nothing to do with me being lazy or anything, you see I unwittingly trained this dolphin to kill the president of the United States and just...it was a whole thing alright, let's just move past it. See how these lists work here: http://www.mistercinecal.com/2015/06/the-best-and-worst-movie-taglines-of.html, then see the latest entries after the jump.

Best #91
Which: "People of Earth, your planet is about to be destroyed...We're terribly sorry for the inconvenience."
Where: TerrorVision
What: Extraordinary Hyperbole
When: 1986
Why: Once again the movie threatens the actual death of you, the viewer, but this time they're nice enough to apologise for it. There's absolutely no chance that TerrorVision could be any good at all-I believe it's a half-arsed horror-comedy bodysnatchin' alien situation-but that glib tagline could almost make you believe the movie might be alright.

Worst #91
Which: "On May 6th...see Paris die!"
Where: House of Wax
What: The 'Our Audience Are Idiots' Principle
When: 2005
Why: When the biggest selling point your movie has (they even made t-shirts with this slogan) is that the bumpkin's in the audience can rage masturbate to the death of a tabloid celebrity that they don't like, then it's safe to say that your movie is not gonna be great. If you went to see House of Wax just to see Paris Hilton's character get murdered, not only are you pretty sad, but that meant another couple of cents in her back pocket, so congratulations.

The Best Movie Taglines of All Time

100. "Unwittingly, he trained a dolphin to kill the President of the United States", The Day of the Dolphin
99. "They're young, they're in love...and they kill people", Bonnie and Clyde
98. "Raise a kung fu fist to Ogami-AND HE'LL CUT IT OFF!", Shogun Assassin 2: Lightning Swords of Death
97. "In the year of darkness 2029, the rulers of this planet devised the ultimate plan. They would reshape the Future by changing the past. The plan required something that felt no pity. No pain. No fear. Something unstoppable. They created THE TERMINATOR.", The Terminator
96. "Oh yes. There will be blood.", Saw II
95. "They're tobacco chewin', gut chewin', cannibal kinfolk from Hell!", Redneck Zombies
94. "The first casualty of war is innocence", Platoon
93. "3% body fat. 1% brain activity.", Zoolander
92. "A monster science created but could not destroy!", Frankenstein (1931)
91. "People of Earth, your planet is about to be destroyed...We're terribly sorry for the inconvenience.", TerrorVision

The Worst Movie Taglines of All Time

100. "Not to be confused with King Kong", A*P*E
99. "Great things come in bears", Yogi Bear
98. "All the power on earth can't change destiny", The Godfather Part III
97. "Does my gluteus maximus look big in this?", Gladiatress
96. "Some houses are born bad.", The Haunting (1999)
95. "He puts the teeth in terror", Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III
94. "The system gave him a raw deal. Nobody gives him a raw deal", Raw Deal
93. "Who's your nanny?", Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang
92. "Why are they putting seatbelts in theatres this summer?", Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
91. "On May 6th...see Paris die!", House of Wax (2005)

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