Mister Cinecal

Mister Cinecal

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

The Best and Worst Movie Taglines of All Time, #97

So here we are again. Preamble ramble: http://www.mistercinecal.com/2015/06/the-best-and-worst-movie-taglines-of.html



Best #97
Which:  "In the year of darkness 2029, the rulers of this planet devised the ultimate plan. They would reshape the Future by changing the past. The plan required something that felt no pity. No pain. No fear. Something unstoppable. They created THE TERMINATOR."
Where: The Terminator
What: Succinct Summary AND Extraordinary Hyperbole
When: 1984
Why: Certainly not just because it's timely. There's a lot of good stuff in there, but this would have made its way higher up the list if not for the fact that it's just a bit too wordy. There are bits and pieces you could take from this to get one good tagline on its own, and while the way it just keeps on going is pretty entertaining, really "they would reshape the Future by changing the past" might have been enough on its won.




Worst #97
Which: "Does my gluteus maximus look big in this?"
Where: Gladiatress
What: Puneth the hour, punish the man AND the 'Our Audience Are Idiots' Principle
When: 2004
Why: Not only is it a lame sexist joke, but 'maximus' means 'largest'. I know they didn't think about it for longer than the 0.01 second it took to get "something maximus=Roman" but their damn setup doesn't even hold up.




The Best Movie Taglines of All Time

100. "Unwittingly, he trained a dolphin to kill the President of the United States", The Day of the Dolphin
99. "They're young, they're in love...and they kill people", Bonnie and Clyde
98. "Raise a kung fu fist to Ogami-AND HE'LL CUT IT OFF!", Shogun Assassin 2: Lightning Swords of Death
97. "In the year of darkness 2029, the rulers of this planet devised the ultimate plan. They would reshape the Future by changing the past. The plan required something that felt no pity. No pain. No fear. Something unstoppable. They created THE TERMINATOR.", The Terminator

The Worst Movie Taglines of All Time

100. "Not to be confused with King Kong", A*P*E
99. "Great things come in bears", Yogi Bear
98. "All the power on earth can't change destiny", The Godfather Part III
97. "Does my gluteus maximus look big in this?", Gladiatress

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