Mister Cinecal

Mister Cinecal

Saturday, 30 November 2013

JESUS CHRIST

So you know how a film generally isn't any good if too many people involved are more focused on making money than making art? (If you've read this blog more than twice you damn well should, I spend enough time whining about it) Well the same really goes from anything that pulls too much focus away from putting out a quality piece of work. Case in point, movies with religious subject matter made by the very religious tend to...well they tend to end up looking something like Son of God, an upcoming film whose trailer was released recently.

In actual fact the film, which will come out next February is recut scenes from a miniseries about the Bible that aired on the History Channel this year, which makes it both a cash grab AND a misguided attempt at Christian entertainment, which means both that I will have to watch this when it comes out and that it will probably be the thing that ends up killing me. The trailer makes absolutely sure that no one is confused as to who the star of a film called "Son of God" is by zipping through the Greatest Hits of the Jesus narrative like some kind of Reeling in the Years: Jerusalem Edition on fast forward. It features possibly the most disingenuous Jesus I have ever seen. Look at his shit-eating grin and tell me this chap isn't looking to ride out of town with everybody's silver as soon as nobody's looking.

If the Jesus shown in this trailer was around in modern times he wouldn't get much traction going on his Second Coming, he'd be bumming around his garden in a Grateful Dead t-shirt growing his own vegetables, turning water into a couple of packs of smokes. See the trailer below and let me know if the last line caused you to burst out laughing like it did to me:

"I am coming soon"! If he'd have said "in 3D" as well, I'd have given up my whole life right there and then and gone off to join a monastery.

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