Mister Cinecal

Mister Cinecal

Saturday, 21 September 2013

Crying At The Movies

No, this isn't another post about Man of Steel.

I don't really cry watching movies. Now, my cinematic preferences do tend more towards explosions and one-liners rather than feelings and cancer diagnosisisis, but still, that seems strange. I can laugh at a movie, I can and have yelled at them, but I've never cried while watching one. Except for the very first one. The earliest memory I have of going to the cinema involved me crying, which you might refer to as a 'formative experience'. My parents took me to see Aladdin in 1993, when I would have been just two years old. As an aside, that film was released first in America a full year before it came out in the UK and Australia, which seems crazy. Imagine the online rage today at having to wait a full year for a major blockbuster that's already been released elsewhere. No wonder I was on the edge, emotionally.

Not to call my parents child-rearing techniques into question but I was possibly too young to be brought to the cinema. When you go down the list of things that make two year olds afraid, I'd imagine two things that would be near the top of your list would be DARKNESS and LOUD NOISES and sure you'd have to go a long way down the list but it's possible that POPCORN SMELL would be there somewhere also so yeah maybe Ma and Pa should have found a babysitter if they wanted to watch cartoon Robin Williams so badly. The experience was a little overwhelming for Lil' Cinecal Bastard and so he began to cry.

I did manage to calm down. Until Snake Jafar. Goddamn Snake Jafar. With his big teeth and his crazy eyes and his choking folks...how does a kid not burst into tears looking at that thing...

Woah, wait a minute. Let's enhance that image a bit...
Aladdin has no face! Jafar stole his face, through evil magic/animation errors.The terror begins all over again...

Anyway, if you happened to be in a cinema in Hull twenty years ago and you're Aladdin viewing experience was ruined by a wailing moppet I apologise to you. If it is any consolation I have become emotionally deadened enough in the intervening years that it will never happen again. Do you cry often at movies? What's your earliest memory of going? Let me know, it will distract me from the terror of faceless cartoon characters.

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